it's his prerogative

it's time to go home. it's friday. i'm tired. i'm late for happy hour. but, i just couldn't leave my desk without posting a little something something about bobby brown. i mean, he really rounded out the week with some amazing news. he is in contract negotiations with bravo to do a new reality show entitled "Being Bobby Brown." i know one of the things i go to bed at night thinking is wow...i wonder just what it's like to be bobby brown...anyway, i have to depart, but i just wanted to say the following things. 1.) bravo is turning out to be quite the network. it all started with queer eye. now they are running season 5 of the west wing on there. they had that horrible/wonderful show "boy meets boy," celebrity poker, a new reality show where viewers compete to write and produce their own sit-com, and now this. watch out other networks, bravo's sneaking up from behind and soon you won't know what hit you. 2.) i can only hope that the premiere episode of "Being Bobby Brown" addresses the issue of just what did happen to the receipts for crack that whitney mentioned in her interview with diane sawyer. now there's an episode of csi i'd actually tune in for. 'tis all. enjoy the weekend. i'm sure it shall provide some fodder for this here blog.

bartlett for america!

i think i have some sort of yet-to-be-diagnosed social disorder that causes things that don't bother the average person to drive me insane. i've mentioned just a few of them here, but there are so many more that i am not optimistic that this blog can ever really do them justice.

the one that's been driving me the craziest lately is how everyone is so quick to jump on various bandwagons. the best example of this madness was when the movie titanic came out. it was like pandemonium. actually, i had originally planned to see the movie. i remember distinctly coming home from school one day and seeing a news story about people who had seen the movie 10 or more times since it had come out the week before. right then i decided that i would do everything in my power to never see it. i've been holding fast to that for about 7 years now. i just don't believe THAT many people liked titanic out of some sort of authentic reaction to it. if i did, i guess that would be a different story. i just think people get drunk on the popularity of something and their actual ability to judge bad from good becomes clouded, lost in a sea of screaming fans or clever merchandising. i mean how many people can really wake up every morning and say, "what i really need today is a mesh trucker's hat" or "one of those skirts with the ruffles at the bottom would really add something unique and quirky to my wardrobe."

it's becoming a problem though because i have so many personal boycotts that i can't keep up with them. clearly, my contrarian's approach to combating bandwagons is but a temporary band-aid and not an actual cure. but, it's such a huge problem and i am but one voice in the wilderness crying out!

i'll tell you one thing, i'm voting josiah bartlett for president this year and that is a direct result of being harassed onto a kerry bandwagon by moveon.org. bastards.

terrorism?

okay so last night, against my better judgement, i went to see a horror movie. i hate horror movies. i just don't see the point. there are plenty of real life things to be afraid of without adding some nutter's disturbing imagery to your dream repertoire. for instance, ALF and sandy duncan's glass eye. as a general rule i avoid scary movies. i remember when i saw the silence of the lambs, i couldn't sleep for like a week because i was afraid of dreaming about that crazy man dancing around with a feather boa and a suit he made entirely out of the skins of unsuspecting porcine beauties. i shudder just to think about it.

okay, here we go...let's get right to it. exorcist: the beginning is one of the worst movies this side of from justin to kelly. i will say this, you know what you're getting into right away. there's no pretense that this is going to be an outstanding cinematic experience. actually, my expectations were lowered when i entered the theatre and a popular "urban" radio station was conducting a contest with audience members before the screening. apparently they had given away tickets and lured the city place/union station crowd to upper nw (sorry if you're not local) . for once, i actually think the loud, ghetto nature of the audience added to my viewing experience. i too was rooting for some of the idiots to be, just for example, crucified and eaten alive by crows. you see what horror movies inspire in otherwise peace-loving citizens!?

in one particular scene the main guy let's his curiosity get the best of him and decides to go out at nightfall and dig up some graves near a church that's inhabited by the devil. yes, you read that correctly. unfortunately, since he was the main guy he didn't get his comeuppance as he should have. when the hyenas encircled him i think everyone was hoping he'd be torn limb from limb like the black kid who was the first to die (surprise, surprise) early in the film. am i the only person that thinks this provides and interesting look at our justice system? innocent black person always dies at beginning of movie through (usually) no fault of his/her own...movie continues...white people continue to split up into groups to "investigate" and say stupid things to each other like, "dirk, maybe we should wait until night to check it out..." and yet they live wayyyyy longer than any of the black characters and sometimes even all the way until the end! what's that about?

anyway, only see exorcist: the beginning if the power of christ compels you.

jeez. can we vote already?!?

okay, today i'd like to officially hate on a group of people i'll be referring to here collectively as "political types." that term should not be taken to mean a body of people knowledgeable about their government and the world around them, but rather should call to mind a specific subset of people who enjoy any (or all) of the following:

• going to parties and drunkenly scoffing with friends at party-goers' political persuasions
• inventing a political version of a well-known game such as "john kerry monopoly" or "pin the tail on dennis hastert"
• attending the kennedy school of government
• naming drinks and/or recipes after politicians (for example a "nancy pelositini" or "steak a la ashcroft")
• being able to name, as of today, the exact number of days until the election off the top of your head

that's a relatively short list of the complaints i have about political types, but i think you can get an idea about whom i am writing. if you have one of these people in your life, please try to keep them in check so as to minimize their annoyance of the rest of us...and yes, i realize it's an election year and these people are roaming the streets and crowding bars en masse, but seriously, they are the WORST! 'tis all.

hateration...

okay, so i had previously decided that creating a haters' blog would make me sort of sad. but then i decided that the catharsis/anger release that it would provide would be well worth it. i also wanted to provide an outlet for anyone out there would wants to hate on something/someone. so, if you're interested in having your grievance addressed on this blog, hit me up at hatersblog@yahoo.com and i'll shout you out (anonymously if you wish).

so since it's summer and all, today i am going to hate on men in capri pants. i don't think i really need to expound on that, but i will. why are your calves out, bro?? bad idea. and don't think just because your pants are "convertible" and come with a zippered portion at the bottom that can be removed that it's a good idea to remove it. what are you doing buying convertible pants anyway? capris are bad on men (and anyone under 5'6" for that matter). believe that. any item of clothing that could possibly cause you to be described as "swash-buckling" is a bad fashion answer.