i hate halloween

so i was in new york this weekend, riding around in cabs and observing the wild life that is saturday night in the city. on our drive from morningside heights to union square, i came to a realization: i hate halloween. let me explain the things i hate specifically about this non-holiday holiday.

first, i hate that so many girls use this day as an excuse to pull out all the unacceptably short, skimpy, revealing clothing in their closets, don it and walk around saying things to guys like, "i'm a french coquette! do you like my costume?" and then twirling around. just be a slut with integrity and rock that sh*t year round. don't try to be demure 364 days of the year only to do that on october 31st.

second, there was a white guy at the party i went to who had on a don king wig and blackface. hello! that is unacceptable 365 days of the year, halloween is no exception. this rule goes for anyone out there thinking of dressing up as anything that's a symbol of oppression/racism/religious persecution/etc.

third, a man dressed as the grim reaper (hooded cloak, sickle, etc) was going around this bar pointing at people as if to indicate "you're next." i was really freaked out and pushed my friend abby in front of me. his cloak was so effective that you couldn't even see if he had a face or not. so it got me thinking: what if that's the real death and this is the one night he can come out of his lair dressed as himself. later on he came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulders so i elbowed him in the ribs. take that, death!! sadly, i'm really freaked out now and i have awakened every morning since then and said thanks to god for helping me make it another day.

fucking halloween! i hate you.

but, you know who i do love? SUGATEA!!