it's not that i'm pro-cancer, i swear!

i received some requests to post in the blog more often. i could, believe me. nearly everyday i see something worth posting. it's just that i'm incredibly lazy at work. i bet you re-read that twice to make sure i didn't actually mean "incredibly busy." well, i am busy right now, but that's not why i don't write here. it's because i haven't had the energy to be witty as of late. but, i digress. you didn't tune into this to hear about my life, you tuned in to read about something that annoys me (and perchance you as well).

think back to the last party or club to which you went. were there lots of people nattily dressed in all black, with high heels, tight ribbed shirts, or otherwise clad in their sunday best? did you notice a hot guy/girl across the room and think to yourself, that person's got it going on? i'm gonna work my way over there casually, say something funny to the person i know standing near the hot person and then laugh, glance over and introduce myself. you're feeling good, you've got a drink in your hand, you're almost across the room. then, out of the corner of your eye you notice a flash of yellow. you look toward your target and realize that despite their hot outfit, they've unexplicably chosen a plastic yellow bracelet to accesorize. you pause. what a let down. they've got on a livestrong wristband. dejected, you turn back toward your group of friends who are confused as to why you've given up your mission. you emphatically point to your wrist and gesture. they nod knowingly. as you cross the room you also observe that approximately 80% of the room is wearing them.

if the above scenario hasn't happened to you, i'm sure something like it has. why are we all wearing these livestrong wristbands? is it seriously because we support cancer research? i think not. if that was the case, there wouldn't be nearly 4000 writstbands on sale on eBay. those sellers aren't giving money to cancer research. they're just making it possible for you to floss your livestrong wristband like everyone else in america. this is clearly yet another example of a bandwagon people have jumped on and tried to pretend was in the name of something good. i mean, don't get me wrong. i'm glad all these people gave $1 to cancer. i'm sure that's helping some organization somewhere do important work. but, the livestrong writsband can be likened to the PBS tote bag you get when you pledge. it's just a token of appreciation. you don't HAVE to use it! can you imagine getting on the metro one morning and seeing all the NPR subscribers wearing an "all things considered" hat? negative. so then i thought to myself, it must be lance armstrong. there must be something about him that is loveable that i don't get. let's review. he's an amazing cyclist who beat cancer twice. basking in the glow of those victories and on a self-esteem high, he decided to leave his longtime wife for a rockstar. sure, she saw him through cancer twice, but c'mon...it's sheryl crow! who can say no? you're right sheryl, the first cut is indeed the deepest. i'm sure lance's ex-wife agrees. where's her wristband? now there's a cause i could get behind.